iStock/Elena Koroleva
Grief is often associated with the loss of human life, but the reality is that pet owners often move through the grieving process when their pets pass away. The little-discussed topic of grief associated with pets can be challenging to navigate, given the lack of awareness and direction toward healing resources.
Tanja Philhower, a veterinary social worker with the University of Minnesota’s Veterinary Medical Center, says, “In the short term, it’s really important for people to allow their grief to be what it is.” Focusing on self-compassion and taking time to feel emotions while the grief settles in is important. “When we are talking about self-compassion, we are really just talking about offering ourselves that same level of kindness and grace that we would offer to a friend of a loved one and instead, offering that to ourselves,” Philhower says.
Philhower recommends creating a memorial space for the pet, stressing the importance of “… having a spot that serves as a representation or a place where you can go when you want to feel a connection [and] when you want to specifically sit with grief because grief stays with you.” She adds, “When you want to have a moment of honoring or remembrance, having a place to go can be helpful and healing for people.”
Books can be excellent resources to help navigate grief. Philhower recommends The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Mary-Frances O’Connor. The book examines how to manage the unexpected aspects of grief. And I Love You Still … A Thoughtful Guide and Remembrance Journal for Healing the Loss of a Pet by Julianne Corbin offers reflections and journal entries to help the grieving process.
