Jennifer Cramer-Miller is a local author with a message of hope and joy. Photo: Morgan Chapman Media
Wayzata author spreads optimism in her memoir.
Time and time again, life has lobbed lemons at Jennifer Cramer-Miller, but if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s making “lemonade.” The Wayzata resident turned the lessons she’s learned from four kidney transplants into her memoir, Incurable Optimist: Living With Illness and Chronic Hope. “I felt compelled to get it on paper,” Cramer-Miller says. “Life is such a mix of beauty and bummers.”
Cramer-Miller was just 22 years old, living on the West Coast and working in a career she loved, when illness rocked her world. “One day, out of the blue, I woke up with puffy eyes,” she says, noting that she also experienced fatigue, pressure in her legs and swollen ankles. Tests revealed that Cramer-Miller’s kidneys were damaged. “Something was wrong with the filters in my kidneys,” she says.
The diagnosis: an autoimmune kidney disease. “They said it was progressive and incurable,” Cramer-Miller says. She was stunned. “I felt ripped from my rightful place. Everything was going well, until it wasn’t,” she says.
Cramer-Miller moved back to Minnesota to work alongside her father, Lawrence Cramer, at his company L. Cramer Builders + Remodelers. Within six months, she was in kidney failure and the search for a kidney donor began. “I waited one year and eight months for a kidney,” she says. But, after three days, she had a recurrence of her autoimmune disease. Cramer-Miller wondered how she could lead a meaningful life with kidney disease hanging over her head. “I didn’t want it to define me,” she says. “I wanted to pursue a life that felt normal.”
To do that, Cramer-Miller realized she would have to give up the life she had envisioned for herself. “There’s a quote from (author) Joseph Campbell, ‘We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.’” Letting go allowed her to move forward. Cramer-Miller received another kidney six years later and vowed that with that kidney, she would continue to live life to the fullest. “I owed it to the donor to do the best I could with that gift,” she says.
Cramer-Miller has since faced two more kidney transplants—one, a living donation from her mother, Elizabeth Cramer, and the second from her husband through a paired exchange pool. “I’ve had 15 family members and friends wanting to donate,” she says. “It’s a family love story.” Her current kidney has lasted more than 13 years. Through it all, she has developed an appreciation for everyday things. “I savor life so much,” she says. “Hope and joy permeate my days … I got to the point where I realized: I’m married. I have an amazing daughter, a great career and kidney disease can’t define me anymore. I’ve defined myself.”
Cramer-Miller continues to define herself, adding chair of the board of advisors for the Minnesota branch of the National Kidney Foundation and published author to her resume. She says that she hopes her book helps her reach more people affected by chronic illness. “The book tells them to hang on, savor the good things,” she says.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t bad days. There are, but Cramer-Miller has learned how to manage them. “I honor the feelings I have, let them in, feel them and let them dissipate,” she says. “Then I take stock of my lucky list and recenter my mind. I choose optimism because it’s good for my health.”
Jennifer Cramer-Miller
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