Minnetonka’s Kailen Rosenberg Talks Love

Internationally renowned love expert Kailen Rosenberg first learned about love growing up on Lake Minnetonka.

Kailen Rosenberg travels the world to talk about love. People look to her for advice and tips for finding love, staying in love or reestablishing lost love. She’s earned certificates, studied her craft and even written a book on love—but she says she first learned about tried-and-true, steadfast love from her grandparents in Minnetonka. “My grandpa was German and French and very stoic, but my grandma would dote all over him,” says Rosenberg. “Never once did I hear her nag or complain about that. She loved him unconditionally, and it was a nurturing and constant affirmation of him. He would never let anyone speak down to her. He respected her greatly.”

Her grandparents, Elton and Theodota Hess, were married for more than 50 years. Growing up, Rosenberg saw her grandparents’ love, but also saw her own mother struggle through tumultuous and sometimes abusive relationships. “I knew and understood what love was in a real way, but I also heard love associated with bad things and abuse,” says Rosenberg. “I wanted to teach love so other families wouldn’t go through what I saw in other areas of my life.”

Rosenberg worked as a professional model before establishing her own image consulting firm. “I was always emotionally deep and an old soul,” says Rosenberg. “I was always diving into a person’s psyche and spirit.” The heart of her business eventually changed to focus on Rosenberg’s strengths: building relationships. She calls herself a “love architect.” “My husband Lance is a home builder and contractor, and I heard him talking to his co-workers. I was joking at the time, but I told him I do the exact same thing, but in people’s lives,” says Rosenberg. “You get the blueprints, learn how love affects [clients], what walls they build. Some are necessary and healthy, but some walls need to come down.”

Rosenberg is president and founder of the Twin Cities-based Love Architects, a matchmaking and life design firm with an elite clientele. She provides an executive matchmaking service, but Rosenberg also uses her background as a life coach (she has a master’s certificate in life coaching and addiction) to help repair or reestablish relationships and families. “I’m not a matchmaker,” says Rosenberg. “I’m linking people with their true selves.” Rosenberg believes finding happiness first with oneself can lead to happy relationships, healthy families and ultimately a better society.

Rosenberg’s passion for teaching “love on a higher level” has gained her international attention. She appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s 2012 reality documentary called Lovetown USA, which focused on creating and celebrating love in a small town. The show first aired on the Oprah Winfrey Network and was produced by BBC Productions. Rosenberg has also been interviewed on major networks and television shows for her advice on love. She wrote the book Real Love, Right Now.

Despite her travel around the world and the chance to rub elbows with celebrities, she chooses to create her home and foster her own love in Minnetonka. “It’s where our roots are,” says Rosenberg, whose family includes husband Lance and sons Alex, 28, Andrew, 22, and Jack, 13. “It’s just a lovely environment.”

In advance of that beloved—or dreaded—February 14 holiday, we sat down with Kailen Rosenberg to ask for her all-time favorite love wisdom.

How do you find love?
Finding love often begins with finding oneself. “If you are looking for a relationship to fill a gap or void like loneliness or financial problems, then you aren’t ready,” says Rosenberg. “That void needs to be filled within you. People don’t want to admit brokenness, but we don’t need to carry shame around it. It’s up to us to see it, experience it and fix it. Do something about it; don’t expect someone to come in and fix it.”

Be ready for love. “We get these preconceived notions that we are supposed to meet our soulmate at a certain place,” says Rosenberg. “Wherever you go, wherever you are, there are single people out there. It could someone be at the gas station, pumping gas. Don’t be afraid to smile back and say hi. Be open to that person being anywhere. You have to be open, ready, healed and ready for love to the best of your ability. You don’t want to go into your relationship as half of a person.”

How do you keep the spark going?

  • Love thyself. “There’s necessity in staying in tune with loving oneself,” says Rosenberg. “Many people say they lose themselves. The more you love yourself, the more you genuinely have to give to your partner. With that comes truth, safety, fidelity … all those things that can break a marriage down. When people are whole and healthy, they are at their highest sense.”
  • Keep the right friends. “Look at the friends you keep,” says Rosenberg. “Our friendships say a lot about us. Try not to be around guys or girls who are constantly nagging or flirting with other people and not honoring their marriage or partnership. Our friends say a lot about where we are and where we want to be.”
  • Go on date nights. “Date nights are crucial,” says Rosenberg. “I talk to some couples who haven’t been on a date in five years. Try to have a date at least once a week, and take turns planning it. Go to new and unique places to create new experiences together. Also, look good for each other.”

Best advice for Valentine’s Day?
“Don’t forget it,” laughs Rosenberg. “But I think the sweet things matter. It’s one thing to get a card, but just don’t grab a card and sign your name. Write a piece that’s from your heart, like a memory. Keeping it personalized makes it genuine.”

Great date spot around Lake Minnetonka?
“My husband and I were just at Birch’s on the Lake Brewhouse and Supperclub on our date night,” says Rosenberg. “It’s old-school, nostalgic and has an upper-end supper club feel. The food is delectable, there’s old-school Sinatra-style curved booths that force you to be more romantic, and it’s all overlooking the lake. You can take a walk before or after dinner, sit at the end of the dock, snuggle with each other, and hold hands and share about the past year or what you love about each other. Whether you’ve made it one year or 60 years, there’s something that’s been keeping you together. Talk about what that is.”